Mersey Leven Catholic Parish
Parish Priest: Fr Mike Delaney mob: 0417 279 437;
email: mike.delaney@catholicpriest.org.au
Assistant Priest: Fr Augustine Ezenwelu mob: 0470 576 857
Postal Address: PO Box 362, Devonport 7310
Parish Office: 90 Stewart Street, Devonport 7310
Office Hours: Tuesday, Wednesday,Thursday 10am-3pm
Office Phone: 6424 2783 Fax: 6423 5160
FaceBook: Mersey Leven Catholic Parish
Weekly Newsletter: mlcathparish.blogspot.com.au
Parish Newsletter: mlcathparishnewsletter.blogspot.com.au
Secretary: Annie Davies/Anne Fisher
Pastoral Council Chair: Mary Davies
Archdiocesan Website: www.hobart.catholic.org.au for news, information and details of other Parishes.
Our Parish Sacramental Life
Baptism: arrangements are made by contacting Parish Office.
Parents attend a Baptismal Preparation Session on first Tuesday of February, April, June, August, October and December.
Reconciliation, Confirmation and Eucharist: Are received following a Family–centred, Parish-based, School-supported Preparation Program.
Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults: prepares adults for reception into the Catholic community.
Marriage: arrangements are made by contacting one of our priests - couples attend a pre-marriage Program
Anointing of the Sick: please contact one of our priests
Reconciliation: Ulverstone - Fridays (10am - 10:30am)
Devonport - Saturday (5:15pm– 5.45pm)
Penguin - Saturday (5:15pm - 5:45pm)Devonport - Saturday (5:15pm– 5.45pm)
FIRST READING
RESPONSORIAL PSALM
(R.) Lord, show us your mercy and love, and grant us your salvation
SECOND
GOSPEL ACCLAMATION:Alleluia, alleluia! I hope in the Lord, I trust in his word. Alleluia!
GOSPEL: Matthew 14:22-33
PREGO REFLECTION ON TODAY'S GOSPEL:
I begin my prayer by settling into a place of stillness and calm, perhaps using the phrase: ‘Enfold me, Lord, in your peace’ as a mantra, asking God for the gift of inner peace and calm.
As I read the text I place myself in the scene; the boat tossed about by the wind, the disciples fearful, Jesus some distance away. I look and listen, aware of all that is taking place.
Jesus comes towards the boat. I notice the fear and amazement on the faces of the disciples and how unruffled Jesus is, how calm his words. Perhaps I hear Jesus say to me: ‘Courage! It is I. Do not be afraid...Come...’ - and I respond with great trust, handing over my fears and worries, and placing my trust in him.
I remain there with Jesus, thanking him for his presence with me at all times; for reaching out to help me when I am in trouble or afraid.
‘Lord, truly you are the Son of God.’
Ministry Rosters 16th & 17th
August, 2014
Devonport:
Readers:
Vigil: M Kelly, B Paul, R Baker 10.30am: F
Sly, J Tuxworth, K Pearce
Ministers of Communion: Vigil T Muir, M
Davies, J Cox, M Gerrand, T Bird, S Innes
10.30am: C Schrader, R Beaton, E McLagan ,
B & N Mulcahy, L Hollister
Cleaners 15th August: G & R O'Rourke, M & R Youd
22nd August: M Knight, M & L Tippett, A Berryman
Piety Shop 16th August: J DiPietro 17th August: P Piccolo Flowers: M Breen, S Fletcher
Ulverstone:
Reader: E Cox Ministers of Communion: M Murray, C & J McIver, J
Pisarskis
Cleaners: B & V
McCall, G Doyle Flowers: A Miller Hospitality: Filipino Community
Penguin:
Greeters: J & T Kiely Commentator: J Barker Readers: M & D Hiscutt
Procession: A Landers, A Hyland Ministers of Communion: J Garnsey, M Murray
Liturgy: Penguin Setting Up: E Nickols
Care of Church: M Bowles, A Hyland
Port Sorell:
Readers: G Duff, T Jeffries Ministers of Communion: L Post
Clean /Prepare/Flowers: G
Bellchambers, M Gillard
Your prayers are asked for the sick:
Joy
Griffiths, Nene Reyes, Fr Jim McMahon, Fr Ray Wells, Shirley White, John
Purtell, Terry Charlesworth, Louise Murfet, Joan Stafford, Shanon
Breaden, Tom & Nico Knaap, Kieran McVeigh, Kath Smith, Jamie
Griffiths, Anne Johnson, Lionel Rosevear, Arlene Austria &..
Let us
pray for those who have died recently: Therese
Maddox, Pauline Taylor,
Maureen Harris, Nancy Padman, Enis Lord, Dick Boland, Suzanne Grimshaw,
Clarrie Byrne, Roy O'Halloran and Kathleen Edwards.
Maureen Harris, Nancy Padman, Enis Lord, Dick Boland, Suzanne Grimshaw,
Clarrie Byrne, Roy O'Halloran and Kathleen Edwards.
Let us pray for those whose anniversary occurs
about this time:
Kenneth Bowles, Stephen French, Kenneth Rowe, Tom Hyland,
Jean Stuart, Hilda Griffin, Corrie Webb, Bert Jones, Rustica Bibera, John McMullen, Trevor Hudson and Evelyn Rosendorf. Also Jeffrey & Genaro
Visorro, Ma.Arrah Deiparine, Ponciano & Dominga Torbiso.
May
they Rest in Peace
First Reading
Gospel: Matthew 15:22-28
FROM FR MIKE:
A large Parish always
has things happening and this past week has been no different. Sadly it has
been mainly with the death of three women who have been significant members of
the wider Parish over a long period – and the celebration of their funerals.
Each week there are members of our Parish who suffer the loss of loved ones, or
remember their anniversaries, and so our prayers each weekend remind us of the
whole story of our Faith Community as we remember our departed loved ones.
On Tuesday night we had
the first of our Lector/Extraordinary Ministers of Communion training sessions
at Ulverstone – the Devonport Gathering is this coming Monday, 11th
at 7pm. Wednesday evening we had the Parish Pastoral Council Meeting followed
by a planning meeting for the MenAlive Weekend that is to be held in November.
Thursday evening I attended the performance by the children from Our Lady of Lourdes School of Kids at Sea. Friday evening was the 3rd of the Open
House events at Ulverstone where we also had the opportunity to discuss the
Draft Pastoral Plan (more about that next week).
Next week we have
Catholic Education Week and there are several events in this part of the State
including Mass at St Brendan Shaw College on Tuesday as well as an Awards
Ceremony later in the day. There are some further details about these events
included in the Newsletter.
As I’ve mentioned
previously we frequently add extra material to the Newsletter on our Blogspot
(mlcathparish.blogspot.com.au). Each week there is an article by Fr Ron
Rolheiser and this weekend there are three articles written by contributors to
the National Catholic Reporter (a US
The articles,
mentioned above, were prepared with this note from the Editor: The
50-page instrumentum laboris, or working document, that was released
June 26 and will guide the discussion during the October Synod of Bishops on
the family was dry and impersonal, lifeless almost, and that confounded us at NCR.
From personal experience and from listening to colleagues, readers and friends,
we have experienced marriage and family life as life-giving and joyous.
Marriage and family life is not without its challenges and struggles; it offers
ample lessons in humility and forgiveness, but that, too, at the best of times
can be nurturing. If the writers of the instrumentum laboris, which
is now supposed to be being studied in dioceses throughout the world, had begun
with the fundamental experience of people who have lived in marriages and
raised families, we wondered, how different would it have been?
Until next week, take care on the roads and in your homes,
Fr Mike
The reason to donate are all around us - It's kind-hearted
people like you who give those who are struggling the hope and courage to
rebuild their lives.
Your generosity to Vinnies has helped so many people in the
past, and as we gear up for our 2014 Winter Appeal Weekend Collection we call
again upon the good graces to help us assist with the needs of struggling
families throughout Tasmania
Donations may be placed in our appeal envelopes which will
then be forwarded onto our State Office for banking and receipting. Once again thank you!
CATHOLIC EDUCATION WEEK:
Catholic Education Week is an annual
state-wide event
in the Archdiocese of Hobart that
promotes the distinctive Vision and Mission of Catholic Schools
throughout Tasmania
It is a special opportunity for all
Catholic Ministries
to share the great things they are doing with their School, Parish and
the Wider Communities.
MACKILLOP HILL SPIRITUALITY CENTRE:
“Remain in My Love” John 15 Presented by Lyn Young rsj
Jesus’ last evening with his friends shows his desire for them to understand
their continuing relationship with him. Tuesday
19th August 7.30pm – 9.00pm or
Wednesday 20th August, 10.30 am-12noon. Cost $15.00 Bookings necessary. Phone: 6428:3095 Email: mackillophill.forth@sosj.org.au
Spirituality in the Coffee Shoppe: Monday 25th August, 10.30am – 12 noon. Come along…share your issues and
enjoy a lively discussion over morning tea! Phone: 6428:3095 Email: mackillophill.forth@sosj.org.au
CHARISMATIC RENEWAL STATE CONFERENCE:
THE TIME IS NOW is the theme for the 2014 Catholic Charismatic Renewal
State Conference to be held at the Emmanuel Centre, Launceston on the weekend
of Friday
22nd to Sun 24th August. Facilitators: Fr Jack Soulsby and Jan Heath.
The weekend gives opportunity for fellowship, times for personal reflection as
well at teachings, and times of praise and worship in song. On the Saturday evening
an open Healing Rally will be held in the Newstead Catholic Church (next door)
after the 6pm Mass. You are warmly invited to come to all or part of the
weekend. Enquiries: Di Van Tiernan 6227:1789/ 0447 350 379 or Lyn Dreissen
6226:4392/0408 385 360.
URGENT REQUEST FOR VOLUNTEERS
Where: MacKillop
Hill Spirituality Centre, Forth
Why: Raise funds to support the Centre through
various catering events.
Who:
- Anyone
who can assist with cooking, washing up, setting up tables, etc
- Someone
with expertise in coordinating catering
When: Thursday
21st August at 10am there will be information session (with morning
tea) at the MacKillop Hill Spirituality Centre, Forth .
Contact: For more
information or if you are interested but unable to attend this session please
call Judy McIver on
6425:4816
CWL DEVONPORT: Next meeting Wednesday 12th August at 2.00 pm
at Emmaus House. New members welcome. Reviews available in the Piety
shop this weekend.
CWL ULVERSTONE - INVITATION:
Catholic Women’s League is an organisation who have made a
difference in our Ulverstone Community since 1944. To help us celebrate our
70th birthday we invite any women of the parish and our Catholic Schools
communities to join us at 11am Mass on Tuesday 2nd September followed by lunch at the Lighthouse Hotel
Ulverstone. For catering purposes or any enquiries please phone Marie Byrne
6425:5774.
SOCIAL JUSTICE COMMENT:
“Australia Brisbane
From the Australian Catholic Bishop’s Social Justice
Statement 2013-2014: Lazarus at our Gate: A critical moment in the fight
against world poverty.
FOOTY MARGIN: Round 19 Sydney
BINGO Thursday Nights - OLOL Hall, Devonport. Eyes down 7.30pm!
Callers for Thursday 14th August are Tony
Ryan & Alan Luxton
HELP REQUIRED .....WE NEED MORE CALLERS.
If you able to assist in any way even if it's only once a
month, please contact the Parish Office.
NEWS FROM ACROSS THE ARCHDIOCESE:
CONGRATULATIONS to the Parish of Huon Valley on the
occasion of the Opening and Blessing of Saint Mary of the Cross Catholic
Community Church
CATHOLIC WOMEN'S LEAGUE TASMANIA
& THE ANIMA WOMEN'S NETWORK: Invite all women to the official launch of the Anima
Women's Network in Tasmania 108 Bathurst Street , Hobart
HOLY GROUND - FACILITATED BY MONICA BROWN AND
HILARY MUSGRAVE: An opportunity to pause and be still, to come into a
Sacred Space and simply be: Friday 19th September 10am - 3pm Josephite Hall, St Thomas More's
School, Newstead. BYO lunch, tea/coffee provided. RSVP 5th September, Emmanuel
Centre Phone: 6334:1082 office@emmanuelcentre.org
“SCRIPTURE, CHRIST, AND LIFE EVERLASTING” SEMINAR SERIES: Dr.
Christine Wood, Archdiocesan Office of Evangelisation (ph. 6208-6236) will be
offering a series of 2-hour seminars at the West Tamar Parish hall on August
25-28. Morning and evening seminars; come to one or all. Suitable for
sacramental preparation and RCIA catechists, and for any adult parishioners
wishing to deepen their Catholic faith. More details next week.
Newsletter items must be
received before 12 noon
Thursday – thank you.
Evangelii Gaudium
‘In virtue of their
baptism, all members of the People of God have become missionary disciples. All
the baptised, whatever their position in the Church or their level of
instruction in the faith, are agents of evangelisation... The new
evangelisation calls for personal involvement on the part of each of the
baptised.’
-
Para
120 from Evangelii
Gaudium, Pope Francis, Nov. 24, 2013
What
are the main moments in funerals?
‘Usually,
funeral rites consist of four principal parts: welcoming the body of the
deceased by the community with words of comfort and hope, the liturgy of the
Word, the Eucharistic Sacrifice, and the farewell in which the soul of the
departed is entrusted to God, the Source of eternal life, while the body is
buried in the hope of the resurrection.’
From:
Compendium of the Catechism of the
Catholic Church: Paragraph 356 (Catholic Enquiry Centre www.catholicenquiry.com)
Feast Day of the Week – St Jane Frances de Chantal, religious (August 12)
St Jane Frances was born in Dijon , France Dijon
Words of Wisdom – from our Saint of the Week, St Jane Frances de Chantal
‘When shall it be that we shall taste the sweetness
of the Divine Will in all that happens to us, considering in everything only
His good pleasure, by whom it is certain that adversity is sent with as much
love as prosperity, and as much for our good? When shall we cast ourselves
undeservedly into the arms of our most loving Father in Heaven, leaving to Him
the care of ourselves and of our affairs, and reserving only the desire of
pleasing Him, and of serving Him well in all that we can?’
Meme of the week
The Catholic Church is
accused of many sins. What can be easily overlooked, however, is that it also
has graced the world in many different ways as well. This meme conveys that
sentiment quite succinctly.
THE LAW OF KARMA
An article by Fr Ron Rolheiser - the original can be
found at
http://ronrolheiser.com/the-law-of-karma-2/#.U-VWo_mSzAY
In 1991 Hollywood New York City
As a present from
their wives, who are frustrated enough with them to attempt anything, the three
are given the gift of participating in a cattle drive through New
Mexico and Colorado
And one day as
they are discussing sex, one of the three, Ed, the character with the least
amount of moral scruples, asks the other two whether they would be unfaithful
to their wives and have an affair if they were sure that they would never be
caught. Billy Cyrstal’s character, Mitch, initially engages the question
jokingly, protesting its impossibility: You always get caught! All affairs get
exposed in the end. But Ed persists with his question: “But suppose you
wouldn’t get caught. Suppose you could get away with it. Would you cheat on
your wife and have an affair, if no one would ever know?” Mitch’s answer: “No,
I still wouldn’t do it!” “Why not?” asks Ed, “nobody would know.” “But I’d
know,” Mitch replied, “and I’d hate myself for it!”
There are volumes
of moral wisdom in that answer. Ultimately nobody gets away with anything.
We always get caught, not least by ourselves and by the moral energy
inside the air we breathe. Moreover whether we get caught or not, there will
always be consequences. This is a deep, inalienable moral principle written
into the very fabric of the universe itself. Universal human experience attests
to this. Nobody ultimately gets away with anything, despite every protest to
the contrary.
We see this
articulated, for example, in the very heart of Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, and
virtually all Easter religions in a concept that is popularly called the Law of
Karma. Karma is a Sanskrit word which means action or deed, but it carries with
it the implication that every action or deed we do generates a force of energy
that returns to us in kind, namely, what we sow is what we will reap. Hence,
bad intent and bad actions will ricochet back on us and cause unhappiness, just
as good intent and good actions will ricochet back on us and bring us
happiness, irrespective of what is seen or known by anyone else. The universe
has its own laws that assure this.
Jesus was no
stranger to the idea. It is everywhere present in his teachings and at times
explicitly stated: “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed
down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with
the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Luke 6, 38)
In essence, Jesus
is telling us that the air we breathe out is the air that we will re-inhale and
that this is true at every level of our existence: Simply put, if we are
emitting too much carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide into the air we will
eventually find ourselves suffocating on them. And this is true at every level
of our lives: If I breathe out bitterness, I will eventually find myself
breathing in bitterness. If I breathe out dishonesty, I will eventually find myself
breathing in dishonesty. If I breathe out greed and stinginess, I will
eventually find myself gasping for a generosity in a world suffocating on greed
and stinginess. Conversely, if I breathe out generosity, love, honesty, and
forgiveness, I will eventually, no matter how mean and dishonest the world
around me, find life inside a world of generosity, love, honesty, and
forgiveness.
What we breathe
out is what we will eventually re-inhale. This is a nonnegotiable truth written
into the very structure of the universe, written into life itself, written into
every religion worthy of the name, written into the teachings of Jesus, and
written into every conscience that is still in good faith.
Where does this
principle ground itself and why can it never be violated without consequence?
The principle is alienable because the universe protects itself, because Mother
Earth protects herself, because human nature protects itself, because the laws
of love protect themselves, because the laws of justice protect themselves,
because the laws of conscience protect themselves, because God has created a
universe that is moral in its very structure.
Being moral or not
is not something we can choose or not choose. We don’t have that prerogative
because God created a morally-contoured universe, one that has deep,
inalienable moral grooves which need to be honored and respected, irrespective
of whether we get caught or not when we cheat.
EXTRAORDINARY SYNOD OF THE BISHOPS ON THE FAMILY
Editor's note: The 50-page instrumentum laboris, or working document, that was released June 26 and will guide the discussion during the October Synod of Bishops on the family was dry and impersonal, lifeless almost, and that confounded us at the National Catholic Reporter.
From personal experience and from listening to colleagues, readers and friends, we have experienced marriage and family life as life-giving and joyous. Marriage and family life is not without its challenges and struggles; it offers ample lessons in humility and forgiveness, but that, too, at the best of times can be nurturing. If the writers of the instrumentum laboris, which is now supposed to be being studied in dioceses throughout the world, had begun with the fundamental experience of people who have lived in marriages and raised families, we wondered, how different would it have been?
So we asked two NCR contributors to answer this: If the Synod of Bishops asked me about marriage, what would I say?
Essay by Michael Leach
Someone asked the comedian George Burns the secret of a successful marriage. He answered, "That's easy. Marry Gracie."
Marriage is a cosmic crapshoot. You have to be lucky enough to marry the right person but then you must also be the right person. Marriage is about two people endeavoring to be the right person day in and day out.
The right person values joy, an attribute of God that comes from being awake and aware of the sacred in the mundane. "It is wonderful to get a bouquet of flowers from my husband," writes novelist Elizabeth Berg, "but it means even more when he gets me aspirin for my cramps. I can take my husband out for a fancy dinner, but it will not give him as much pleasure as my telling him that he looks sexy in his ratty pajamas. In a world that feels cold and hostile, the value of marriage is that together you can create islands of 'June' that comfort and sustain you the whole year through. The trick is in remembering to do it."
Marriage begins when two people vow to go through life as one -- to have and to hold in good times and bad -- even in death. Actors Ruby Dee and Ossie Davis, married 56 years, made their final arrangements early: "Cremation after a public ceremony, and then, into an urn. A special urn, large enough and comfortable enough to hold both of us. Whoever goes first will wait inside for the other. When we are reunited at last, we want the family to say goodbye and seal the urn forever. Then on the side, in letters not too bold -- but not too modest either -- we want the following inscription: 'Ruby and Ossie -- In This Thing Together.' "
Like marriage itself, that urn with those commingled ashes is an outward sign of inward grace, something sacramental. It represents a promise two people made with all their hearts to participate as one in the life of God for all eternity. Marriage is two souls growing together in love and wisdom and joy, qualities of God that God breathed into their souls at creation.
So married people don't get joy out of marriage, they bring joy to their marriage. If they were killjoys before they got married, they will kill joy in their marriage. Marriage is two people "in this thing together" who work and play and kid around a lot, not just because it's enjoyable but because they have seen enough sorrow in the human condition.
Marriage is coming to know someone so well that you both say the same thing at the same time. It's being so close to someone that you think their thoughts and feel their feelings at the same time they think and feel them.
Marriage is being alone together, and being together even when you are alone. It is welcoming others into your circle because it increases your joy.
Marriage is reaching out to the poor, the lonely and the sick because that is the nature of love just as it is the nature of sunbeams to emanate from the sun. It is teaching your children the same values not by your words but by your life.
Marriage is choosing to have three children or two children or one child or no children at all. It is seeing birth control -- the pill, the sponge, the IUD -- not as a sin but a blessing.
Young marrieds who want children but can't have them after years of trying will live in full love without children or will adopt them or use artificial insemination. Those who choose the latter, like all parents, will watch their children grow like flowers and appreciate them with joy, even though sometimes, when life seems untenable, like all people will wish they had chosen another life.
Marrieds with children suffer every time their toddler scrapes a knee or their child gets bullied or their teenager depressed. They look at their babies and fall in love but worry if they will ever have enough money to put them through college, and they fight about only two things: money and children.
And when they are old, they will delight in grandchildren without wanting them to be anything other than what they are, and will not worry when their adult children pull their hair out. Like the grandmother in the movie "Parenthood," they have come to understand that the roller coaster is more gratifying than the merry-go-round: "Up down, up down, oh what a ride! ... You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride that could make me so frightened, so scared, so excited, and so thrilled all together! ... [Other people] went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it."
Marriage is not only about joy, it is also about mercy. On our 25th anniversary almost 25 years ago, Vickie and I sipped champagne at midnight in an empty restaurant on the top floor of the Stamford Hyatt overlooking a full moon that spread its one light on rich and poor neighborhoods and shimmered over the waters of Long Island Sound. We confessed to each other that when we met, each of us had tried to manipulate the other into marrying them because we knew that the other was someone we could still have fun with 50 years later, be a good parent, a loyal companion, and most of all, our best friend. That was a lovely moment in our marriage. Marriage is two people telling the truth about themselves without fear of being held accountable. They value mercy without strain, an attribute of God that expresses itself as forgiveness without blame.
Marriage is a graduate school for mercy that begins and never seems to end with ourselves. The miracle is this: When we are the right person but do the wrong thing, everything still turns out all right.
Marriage is a loving, long-term companionship that at its heart has little to do with sex or even gender. It is a mutual participation in the love of God. It is a familiarity that breeds content. It is the stuff of life that two people who once were separate and now are one go through. They sometimes hurt each other but want always to help each other. They experience suffering, sorrow, dissatisfaction and disappointment, but remember the laughter, intimacy, comfort and joy. They made a promise. They kept it.
First, they fell in love. That was the exciting part. Then they learned to love. That was the hard part. Finally, if they were lucky and married the right person and have become the right person, they simply love being loving, and that is the best part.
Marriage is a vocation that reveals attributes of God in the lives of two people who are "in this thing together." Unless you've been there, done that or are learning that, you may not be the best person to tell anyone else what it is.
Essay by Melissa Musick Nussbaum
About the time my cousin discovered what all wives eventually learn, that Prince Charming is an amphibian, that is, half prince, half frog, she went to our grandmother for advice. "Ma-Maw," she said, "did you ever think about divorcing Da-Da?"
Ma-Maw said, "Oh, honey, no. I thought about killing him lots of times, but divorce? Never."
When I learned that St. Benedict, abbot and author of the Rule, had two (count 'em, two) monks try to poison him, I figured he was on to something about community life, including the communal life that is marriage.
Benedict grew up in a world in which monks were hermits. They sought God in silence and solitude. Part of Benedict's genius can be found in his insight that the ordinary act of living together -- in community, in stability and fidelity -- for one's whole life can lead to holiness. Just learning to sit at a table every day next to the person whose smacking and slurping drives you mad -- while refraining from mad behavior in return -- can lead to God. As well it might, because learning to live with another person is hard work. It means forgiving over and over again, long past what seems reasonable and just. It means throwing the assumptions of what constitutes "reasonable and just" out the window, in the same way parents give up wearing "dry clean only" linen while the kids are about and sweat through the summer in washable polyester.
That's why Benedict's Rule -- he called it a "little rule for beginners" -- is such a handy guide for married life. It's brief, less than 9,000 words, and plain. It's not philosophy or even theology; it's more of a field guide to life in the wilds of community.
Here's an example: Benedict advises the abbot to know each of his monks individually, and to consider each monk's needs, talents, shortcomings and strengths. This knowledge is essential for life together. I've learned that the night before an appearance in federal court is not the time to bring up with my lawyer husband that thing he said at the party last Saturday. Ill timing can turn a misstep into a tumble down three flights of stairs. He's learned that I can either sleep at night or watch the 10 o'clock news with him and worry all night -- his choice. It's hands-on learning, what Russell Hittinger calls "knowledge touched by the thing being known."
Benedict means to lay out a rightly ordered life. He seeks to find a balance between work and prayer, rest and activity, speech and silence. We live in a time when there is no night and, so, no rest. There is always music, piped in elevators and coming out of grocery store ceilings, and, so, never silence. We have constant access to email and Internet and phones, so there is never respite from work. Observe the couple sitting at a table in a restaurant, each head bent over a cellphone, thumbs tapping, eyes fixated on the glowing screen. There are messages coming in! But there are no messages going from person to person at the table.
But how do a husband and wife come to know one another as Benedict advises an abbott to know his monks? Benedict advises his monks to "listen to the precepts of your master with the ear of your heart." Listening with the ear of your heart is not taking notes; it is an attitude, an attitude of two who are in relationship. And it is the cultivation of that relationship -- with Christ and with one another -- that Benedict teaches.
I've been recommending the Rule of St. Benedict to couples planning to marry and those already married for years. It's important to take good counsel where it may be found. Married Christians can learn from other Christians who also live in community. "Let all guests who arrive be received as Christ," from Benedict's Rule, for example, is about the best child-rearing advice I ever received. (Notice he doesn't say you can't be worried or afraid or less than thrilled about the guest. You just have to do the work of receiving him or her as you would Christ. There's nothing about streamers or balloons.)
But if we who are married can learn from those who are celibate, does it not also follow that those who are celibate can learn from those who are married? Because who does the dishes and why don't you ever squeegee the shower glass and how are we going to use the tax refund and whose car gets replaced first are the same questions for communities, whether married or celibate. And (spoiler alert!) marriages aren't primarily spent in bed (at least after the first year or the first baby), so the fact that one group is having sex is an issue, but not the issue or the only issue of life lived together. Which is why I think it's important that any synod on the family include people who live in families.
I said that learning to live with another is hard work. It is. And the church is focused on the conditions that make an already hard work even harder. But the bishops also need to hear from the workers themselves. Because the work, difficult though it is, brings joy. That deserves some focus, too.
I remember after our fifth child was born. We were at the swimming pool and I was watching a woman with a baby about our son's age. The babies looked a lot alike. The mothers didn't. In between wishing she would fall in the deep end and drown, I was searching her trim physique for some signs of stretch marks or sagging skin. I figured my husband, married but not dead, was looking, too. So I said, "She looks pretty good, huh?"
And he said, "Oh, I don't know. She looks a little skinny to me. You know," and here he leered in the nicest way, "I like a little something I can get my hands into." I decided right then and there I'd marry him all over again.
Listening with the ear of his heart, indeed. It's something people who have shared their fears in the middle of the night learn. Waking with a pounding heart at 3 a.m., sure that someone else, a friend, is near. Sometimes I wake him. Sometimes I just listen to his snores and snuffles and take my comfort there. He knows where all the buttons are, sure, but he also knows when not to push them.
It's the same lifelong sharing that makes me think, whenever I hear a funny story, or an outrageous one, or whenever I learn something new, "I can't wait to tell Martin about this."
What would I like to hear from Rome? "We can't wait to hear about families from people who are in them."
[Melissa Musick Nussbaum lives in Colorado Springs, Colo., with her husband of 40 years. Her NCRcolumns are collected online at My Table Is Spread. More of her work can be found atthecatholiccatalogue.com.]
Church leaders, looking around the contemporary landscape, concluded that marriage is under assault in an unprecedented way, and they're determined to fix it right now.
That assessment and desire are apparent throughout the 50-page instrumentum laboris, or working document, for the Synod of Bishops on "The Pastoral Challenges of the Family in the Context of Evangelization," scheduled for this October at the Vatican. The instinct may be understandable, even commendable, but the pathway to fulfilling it is riddled with complex obstacles. The bishops, unfortunately, seem unaware of the most threatening obstacles, many of them inherent in the very culture out of which they work.
Since Pope Paul VI established the format in 1965, the Synod of Bishops has met 13 times in ordinary sessions, twice in extraordinary session, and has also held 10 "special" meetings focused on issues in specific areas of the globe. The gatherings have produced little that was unexpected. They have been benign at best and regressive at worst. The bulk of them occurred during the reign of Pope John Paul II, who seemed to have had little concern that his final documents summing up the content of the meetings bear any resemblance to what had actually been said. They were, in the end, his synods, and they would conclude what he wanted them to conclude and ignore the questions he wanted the church to ignore.
We are led to expect more authenticity from a Pope Francis-inspired synod if for no other reason than that he seems far more tolerant of questions and real dialogue than his predecessor.
Accordingly, the instrumentum laboris for the upcoming extraordinary session (a second, ordinary session dealing with the same subject will be held in October 2015) bears some remarkable observations and questions on such topics as natural law and divorced and remarried Catholics.
It is imperative, however, to first understand the culture in which the synod mentality is rooted. As diverse as the issues and personalities involved in meetings of bishops from around the world, a common thread binds all of these gatherings. They have been, without exception, organized by, participated in and interpreted for the world by a tiny representation of humanity, celibate and exclusively male, whose careers have been largely dedicated to maintaining the status quo in a very exclusive fraternity.
The disparity between those who will be doing the talking and deciding and those who will be talked about -- the instrumentum is concerned primarily with married men and women, as well as homosexual persons -- is, in this instance, particularly glaring.
Not to make too light of the matter, but imagine a synod on the clerical state in which ordained males were only tangentially consulted, and in which they were essentially barred from any direct involvement in the shaping of the conversation or in the conversation itself.
The problem is quite evident on the first page of the introduction to the instrumentum, which explains that during the first phase in 2014, "the synod fathers will thoroughly examine and analyze the information, testimonies and recommendations received from the particular churches in order to respond to the new challenges of the family." In the second phase in 2015, the work will continue by a representation of "a great part of the episcopate."
All of those men will consider answers to a questionnaire submitted by "synods of the Eastern Catholic churches ... episcopal conferences, the departments of the Roman Curia and the Union of Superiors General."
Actual families are finally mentioned as among those -- dioceses, parishes, movements, groups and ecclesial associations -- permitted to submit responses categorized as "observations." For some reason, the word is italicized in the text.
The point is easy to make. The whole exercise might have a bit more credibility if actual families -- wives, husbands, mothers, fathers, people who had raised children, their own biological children as well as adopted children -- had some direct input. This project is in need of the experience of other than vowed and celibate men and women who have given themselves to a way of life markedly different from that of most families in the modern world.
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The second major obstacle is the synod's fundamental point of view that marriage, unlike, say, the clerical state, is in particular trouble and needs the church's special attention in order to figure out how to combat all the "-isms" assaulting it. A significant truth resides in the critique of those who see marriage and the family mightily challenged by contemporary mores of consumerism, greed, individualism, secularism, hedonism and relativism.
It is fair to ask, however, how much more families are in trouble today than they were, say, during the past century, when twice the world was aflame and subject to almost unimaginable manifestations of hatred, bloodshed and disregard for other humans, and for decades the globe teetered on the brink of nuclear annihilation.
Finally, how effective might a synod be in its consideration of marriage and the family when, again, the celibate men of the institution insist on rules regarding contraception that much of the community has consistently rejected for more than 50 years?
A section of the document abounds in the church's soaring rhetoric about marriage, analogizing it to the Trinitarian love of God and Christ's relationship with his church. Marriage is called "the great mystery" and a fundamental "community of love."
But when discussing sex, the deepest human expression of enduring love between two people, humans are reduced to the level of baboons, their only legitimate purpose for engaging in sex the production of more little humans. Love and procreation are reduced to biological necessity. And if that is not the primary intent of every sexual act, then the marriage is fundamentally flawed in the church's eyes.
The working paper for the synod claims the reason the teaching is rejected is because of lousy catechesis. Lots of married people would tell the synod it's because of even worse theology and anthropology. The men making the rules really don't understand the profound joy and endless implications of conjugal love in an enduring, committed relationship. They don't understand, in any ongoing, experiential way, that fundamental "community of love." It is about far more than producing offspring. Responsible parenthood involves so much more than making certain that each instance of sexual expression could result in another child.
Nor does the paper address at all what marriage could mean for those unable to conceive, or those who marry beyond their childbearing years. And dare we mention the reality that keeps pressing on us with a logic that seems to be accepted more and more by segments of the community -- homosexuals in a committed, loving relationship?
Perhaps the dynamic of unintended consequences that accompanied the meetings of the Second Vatican Council 50 years ago will be at play in these meetings, and we'll be treated to a much deeper and creative discussion of these issues than seems possible at the outset.
As hinted above, some encouraging signs poke through the lengthy instrumentum, and two are particularly relevant here. The first is the more than two-and-a-half pages spent on the term "natural law" and the fact that the concept "turns out to be, in different cultural contexts, highly problematic, if not completely incomprehensible."
One might add that it is incomprehensible not only because of varying cultural contexts but also because, on a more basic level, it is an outdated way to approach many of these issues.
The preparatory document also promises a robust and overdue discussion of people in "canonically irregular marriages" and how to approach them with a greater emphasis on "mercy, clemency and indulgence towards new unions."
Finally, there is hope that the gatherings will expand on the document's few mentions of the church's need to look at itself, especially the scandals and clerics who live lavishly. It will be worth the discussion if it leads, as it should, to a deeper examination of that culture. In fact, the argument could be made that that discussion and examination is far more urgently needed than another set of documents trying to get married Catholics to follow all of the rules.
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